I am hurt.

I will make this short because everyone is entitled to their opinion, which I fully respect, and everyone is exhausted from politics, which I fully agree with, and we have elected a president and this is something we can't change and have to give him a chance.

Last night I sat in front of my television, as a survivor of sexual assault, and watched as the American people elected a man in the middle of a rape trial, who openly bragged about sexually assaulting women, as the President of the United States. It's not something I am ready to fully talk about but the severity of these circumstances have made me believe that it's something I have to identify with. For me, this moment felt as though people's money and guns were more important than being stripped of a part of myself without my consent. I know this is hard to understand for most but that is as close as I can get to describing it. For me, you looked me in the face and told me you did not care.

As tough as it was, it was not just my experience that hurt me. I watched as my homosexual best friend called me crying, asking "what am I going to do?" He had to wonder if he will be able to hold the basic human right of loving another. I listened to my roommate and best friend as she asked me how she was to tell her special education students that their president openly mocked people with disabilities. I sat in my Spanish class (of mostly Hispanic students) and watched everyone in that classroom cry as we looked around at each other in disbelief.

My Spanish teacher is originally from Spain and had beautiful words of wisdom to say. She was shocked at our country but inspired us to take it all day by day. She told us that it's up to us now. We have to take matters in our own hands and stand up for those who need a voice. We have to stop discrimination and harassment when we see it. The world needs love right now and that is all we can give it.

I know that I will have to tell my future daughter about this day. But I also know that I will tell my future daughter of my grandmother who raised 15 children. I will tell her of my friend's mother who is a state senator. I will tell her of my boss who started her own company and made the Inc 500 in only its 5th year. I will tell her of my mother who still continues to pray and tell my family to pray when even the worst things happen. "For the kingdom is the Lord's, And he rules over the nations" -Psalm 22:28.

I know I am one person and I know I am just one voice in a large crowd of election chaos right now but I just need people to understand. I would not be able to sleep tonight if I didn't explain to at least some people why my heart is completely broken right now.

So now we must take each day as it comes. Please be kind to each other. Please keep in mind that everyone is going through something. Please stand up for people who need help. Please remember to be human. Let's work to always keep progressing.

Take a Second

Last night I was feeling wrapped up in all that life was throwing at me and I was pulling a classic Noons driving around listening to sad music with my windows down. I went home and sat on the roof (sorry, mom) and journaled for a bit when Molly came out and we just had the best conversation.

Life is moving so fast. I know that everyone says this and people hear it and know it but if you really take a second and let it resonate it can seriously freak you out! It feels like just yesterday I thought it was crazy that some of my older guy friends were going to high school-how grown up of them! Somehow I'm a junior in college and somehow this time next year I'm supposed to have at least a general idea of what I'm going to do with my life. How did I get here?

More than once in my life did I think I had it figured out. I became comfortable where I was and who I was surrounded by and accepted the state I was in as my life. For some reason I kept being completely incorrect and always ended up heartbroken at my collapsing plans. "Some of life's wildest journeys begin with a wrong turn."

Molls and I talked for a long time about how strange it is that some of our great friends right now could possibly be moving away this spring and there's a chance we will never see them ever again. What the hell do you do with that information? I'm so comfortable here with my support system, my established friends and environment, how will I adapt when it all changes yet again? How does everything change so much and in so little time?

But I think that's the beauty of being young. The littlest change can dictate the entirety of the rest of your life and how you adapt and mold yourself to that creates the person you end up being. At this point in our life, our world changes faster than the temperature just did (okay I swear I just pulled out all my winter clothes and now I'm wearing a tank top?). But the ever-changing environment brings along a ridiculous amount of opportunities. We can be whoever we want to be right now. We can reinvent ourselves at any minute.

I'm trying to learn to appreciate the quick evolution of my life right now. Recognizing how fast life moves has helped me to prioritize who and what is important to me. There's no need to waste precious breath or time on things that don't make you ecstatic and in love with life. There is no time to be stuck somewhere.

I have no idea what I'm doing most of the time but I am honestly okay with that. Something tells me that now is the time for me to be running around with my head cut off in confusion because eventually everything really is going to work out. I like organization and plans and schedules but something tells me that I have plenty of time to have permanent arrangements.

So it's okay to not have a clue because things change so fast right now that the amount of good that could potentially come your way is near infinite. It's moving so fast that we really need to stop for a moment to take it all in. When you're tucked into bed feeling a little lonely with your twinkle lights on, throw on Bon Iver's new album, grab a glass of wine, and laugh at how sporadic your life is. I know that where I am right now is the version of myself that I will smile about in ten years and say, "Oh, I just had no idea what was coming for me."  Enjoy your fast paced and random life because going to a Sammy Adams concert on a Tuesday night or going to McDonald's for fries and Diet Coke's at 1 am on a Wednesday probably won't be an option for much longer. Take a breath and appreciate these moments with your friends and environment. Take a second to enjoy the ride.

My Greatest Fear

A very wise person recently said to me, "you're either going to have to lower your expectations or find someone who rises to them." Though this was a completely open and honest idea, I found the first option of the two to be ridiculous.

Having high expectations is constantly seen as a fault in people and can often be the source of a lot of disappointment and heartbreak. I constantly see people trying to settle for something less than they dreamed of, less than they truly crave late at night when they're being honest with themselves. To me, this is my ultimate, greatest fear.

As we mature and age, we are constantly told to be realistic about our future and the life we see ahead of ourselves. As a child, you wanted to be an astronaut more than anything in the world but upon entering college you decided you needed to start being real with yourself and give up the pursuit of your dreams so you could get a real job working at a desk 9-5 everyday. As a young teenager you imagined your college years surrounded by friends that would drop anything to help and listen to you and love you even at your worst moment but as you began to meet more and more people you dropped this idea and settled for friends who you could simply have a good time going out with.

Our younger selves would be devastated at how far we were from our dreams, much less how little we tried to get there. Our younger selves would be embarrassed of our lack of courage and drive. Personally, I am not trying to upset Young Morgan because she was quite feisty.

I am 21 years old and I am just beginning to make the decisions that will shape the entirety of my life. I'm beginning to decide what kind of career I want to pursue and who I choose to surround myself with in years to come and I am not ready to settle for anything less than extraordinary, simply because I still have the freedom and opportunity to do so.

My internship this summer was probably the best learning experience I've had the opportunity to have. Not only did I learn so incredibly much about the digital advertising industry, but I truly learned about myself and how my strengths and characteristics go into play while looking for the right career. I learned something that is not often taught at school or the workplace: where you choose to work is your choice as well as the company's. It's empowering to realize that I do not have to settle at a company and praise them simply because they employ me. I should enjoy what I do and work for someone who utilizes me in a way that is mutually beneficial. It does not have to be utter dread every time you wake up in the morning and head to work and, in fact, it should not be. If you love what you do, you will excel at it and this is your gain as well as your place of employment's. Do not settle for wasting 40 hours a week of your life on something that does not make you happy.

This can also be said about the people you are surrounded with. People will tell you that you are wrong or that you expect too much. These are the people who are not meant to be in your life. Surround yourself with those who think you are exquisite and deserving of only the best in life. It's okay to step away from someone who only likes you in moderation. You do not have to continuously get hurt and forgive people in hopes that they will appreciate your forgiveness. For every person that finds you somewhat great, there is a person who thinks you are unlike anyone they have ever met.

Recruitment started this weekend and how much I love my friends slapped me right in the face. Talking about my friends in DG made me realize how valuable people that really truly would drop anything for you are. Find friends that will rub your back at 1 am even though we just had the longest day of our lives. Find friends that will send you flowers because you were crying too hard to talk. Find friends that will talk your ear off long enough to distract you from something eating away at you. These people do exist and you have to seek them out. You cannot settle for people you only have a good time with after a few drinks on a Saturday night.

Mediocrity is my biggest fear. I don't want to just be happy, I want to be elated. I have an image of a really great life ahead of me and now is the time I have to cut out what will not get me to this image. There are people out there who will rise to your expectations and I'm going to continue to believe this.

Decoding the Female Brain

I cannot wait to see the gender demographics of who is visiting this post.

One of the most important lessons I have ever learned is that males and females are simply wired differently. Though there are obviously exceptions to the rule, for the most part, males tend to think more rationally and analytically where females tend to place emphasis on feelings and might be a bit more impulsive. Just for some scientific acknowledgment, here's some things I found via Google search which led me to Psychology Today:

1. "Females often have a larger hippocampus, our human memory center. Females also often have a higher density of neural connections into the hippocampus. As a result, girls and women tend to input or absorb more sensorial and emotive information than males do."

2. "Females tend to have verbal centers on both sides of the brain, while males tend to have verbal centers on only the left hemisphere. This is a significant difference. Girls tend to use more words when discussing or describing incidence, story, person, object, feeling, or place. Males not only have fewer verbal centers in general but also, often, have less connectivity between their word centers and their memories or feelings."

3. "The female brain, in part thanks to far more natural blood flow throughout the brain at any given moment (more white matter processing), and because of a higher degree of blood flow in a concentrationpart of the brain called the cingulate gyrus, will often ruminate on and revisit emotional memories more than the male brain."

If you didn't feel like reading all of those quotes or were simply turned off by the word "hippocampus," I'll summarize by saying girls' brains tend to focus on senses, emotions, and memories before males' brains which focus more on immediate analysis. Is this science behind this really all that surprising to you? I know for me it wasn't, I just needed some fancy words to make it seem legit.

So what does this mean? It means that sometimes I am pouting in the corner for reasons that mentally register as being overdramatic and stupid but the orange cup you used reminded me of my younger sister's ex-boyfriend's dog and you should have realized that made me feel upset but the fact that you didn't makes me even more upset. To top it all off, the fact that I know that this is an absolutely ridiculous reason to feel frustrated with someone is making me feel even worse. Emotions are fun.

So maybe this is all bullshit but maybe realizing this well help some people understand the importance of compromise and patience. Females, we have to start being more considerate about the fact that the way guys think often does not involve a ton of emphasis on emotions. They do not connect feelings to their words as often as we do and have a harder time discussing how they feel. Males, instead of calling ladies "psycho," try to understand that her brain is literally registering a lot of sensory information as emotional. Side note, there's this thing called estrogen but that's a different story for a different time.

This doesn't have to only apply to males/females. At work we take the StrengthsFinder Assessment and that has also really helped open my mind to the fact that, as human beings, we are all wired a little differently. We are told this so often but I don't think many people really take the time to let it resonate. You don't have to think the way someone else does but having an understanding that things might register differently with them can go a long way. Maybe if more people stopped to think about this before they acted, the world would be a lot nicer, perceptive, and forgiving. 

P.S. There are ants literally EVERYWHERE in my house and I have been so good about cleaning and not keeping food out as well as putting traps out. ANY ADVICE WOULD HELP THIS POOR COLLEGE KID WHO DOESN'T UNDERSTAND HOW TO ADULT.

A Reflection on the Year and Letter to My Iowa Friends

It's 10 pm on Tuesday night in July and I am driving around bawling my eyes out. A lonely summer full of work does not one happy girl make and add on the anxiety of transferring schools and the mixture is deadly.

I did not want to go to Iowa. In fact, I had it set in my head that my life had peaked at Mizzou and that I was giving up everything I wanted and dreamed of in order to go to the school I had always said I would absolutely never go to. Certain relationships weren't continuing as smoothly as I had pictured them and the year ahead already seemed to be going in a completely different direction than I had planned for my college career. I didn't want to be stuck in high school, I didn't want to feel insignificant and as though I was giving up. At times I even felt embarrassed to tell people I was transferring to Iowa because I felt as though everyone was only thinking to themselves that I had failed. I thought that people were thinking that I couldn't handle being away from home and felt the need to chase after certain people in my life. Maybe I thought this because I had convinced myself that all of this was true.

The year began with quite a rough start. I had to learn that just because you tell yourself you're okay does not necessarily mean you've allowed yourself the proper time to actually be okay. You cannot magically be fine after something difficult happens in your life, you are allowed to be sad and you are allowed to be hurt and recognizing this is so much more helpful than denial. Realizing that you are hurt allows you to come up with beneficial ways to cope and find substantial recovery rather than trying to drown it out with partying and other destructive quick-fixes.

Though I by no means have things figured out, I think I am beginning to find the right path towards doing so. Learning lessons the hard way has guided me towards making changes in my life and deciding for myself what it is I need to do to be happy. With this being said, I want to extend a really big thank you to the friends I have met this year at Iowa.

The ladies of DG here took me in as a friend immediately and though it's been hard to completely dive in due to my living situation, I feel as though I have really established some relationships with people that are going to last a lifetime. Thanks to the girls who have gotten McDonalds with me an ungodly amount of times this year. Thank you for letting me borrow your clothes, lay in your bed, and introducing me to your wonderful mothers who just might be more fun than us youngins. Thank you for letting me rant to you, for ranting to me, and for not judging me when I might have gotten a bit off track. Thank you for not trying to change anything about the way I am and seeming to enjoy my presence (may be an act but that's alright, I'll take it).

Thank you to the people that convinced me to go out when I know that I shouldn't have and thank you to the people that went to a movie with me when I didn't feel like doing my hair to go out. It's been one of the most learning years of my life but I wouldn't want to be anywhere else during it. It is so comforting to look at the people surrounding you and know that these are the right people you should be growing up with. The people I have met at Iowa are exactly the type of people I always pictured my college years with.

It might not be the college experience I thought I was going to have but I'm beginning to learn that that's part of the adventure and what makes it so fun. Always keep an open mind about your decisions because I still truly believe everything happens for a reason. I'll always be so grateful to the friends I made this year that took me under their wing as a transfer and intruder into what their comfort zone was. Cheers to going to the same school for two years in a row!

Complexity of Happiness

Whew! I believe this is the longest I have ever gone without posting and for that I am very sorry but it has been quite the whirlwind lately and for that I am so grateful. On Friday, I returned home from a spring break vacation in Punta Cana, Dominican Republic and have had the whole Big Red House to myself since. The quiet downtime has given me an opportunity to reflect on life as of recently and here's what I have come up with:

I am so inexplicably happy. I was walking home from class last Friday as break was officially beginning, it was about 60 degrees, I had just finished an exam I felt very good about, my favorite band had just released a new album, I was off to have lunch with my sister and then to see my family in order to travel to a tropical location. You know those moments when you honest to God feel as though you are going to burst because you aren't sure if it's scientifically possible for you to be full of any more happiness? I was squealing my whole walk home. I'm not sure I've ever been happier in a moment and I think I finally am understanding the secret to all of it: I made the happiness myself.

I recently started a new internship at Converge Consulting and I am so absolutely in love with it. I applied and interviewed for this job myself, I made the decision and the measures to qualify myself and here I am. I also started volunteering with an organization called Girls on the Run. I am surprised and humbled every time I am with these girls at how much of an impact positivity and support can make on the hardships of being a young girl. I'm hanging out with amazing people, I am working my butt off in school and seeing it pay off never gets old. I'm taking time to be alone and do things for myself. Every single day I make a choice for the next 24 hours to be great and focused on all of the little things that make my heart flutter. It isn't always easy of course, sometimes memories or stress of school catch up to me, but these instances are occurring so much less frequently.

This overwhelming happiness is not here because of another person or a happenstance of fate. I tried, I fought, I worked towards things that I knew were going to make me happy and made the constant choice of looking towards the good and forgetting about the bad. Doing this on my own has made it so much sweeter than I can explain. How can I ever be taken down by outside forces when I now know that I am the master of the way I feel. Life is unreal and I get to choose to see it as so.

Choose happiness, beautiful people.

I'm Single and Excited for Valentine's Day

February 14th is almost here and I am not one bit sad about it. Many single women choose to have some type of "I Hate Valentine's Day" party and that's fine if you're into it, but I will not be participating in any type of self-loathing this Sunday. As I sit on my bed eating one of my mother's famous heart-shaped cookies, I can't help but be thankful for my single-girl VDay this year.

I love cookies, I love pink frosting, I REALLY love chocolate, I even like those little conversation hearts. Besides Halloween, this holiday is basically the biggest excuse to eat sweet things and I will gladly celebrate the occasion. Heck, this is starting to sound like a really good excuse for me to make some chocolate lava cake and consume it all by myself. Guess what?! I don't have to share and no one can judge me. Being single on this day is great because you get to have 2x the candy.

I have the absolute worst present-giving anxiety. I don't know what it is but I am always the girl saying "it's like totally a stupid present like seriously so dumb, feel free to return it, I don't know what I was thinking." Why do I do that? When I'm being rational I realize that I give pretty good presents but for some reason I am unbelievably self-conscious about my gift-giving. Being single on this day is great because I don't have to think of a present for someone, I don't have to spend my money on a present for someone, and best of all, I don't have to get sweaty palms from giving someone said present.

I've said it before but my issue with high-expectations has generally ruined most holidays involving couples or relationships. I'm a little bit too much of a romantic so this day just really isn't fair for someone trying to be with me. Being single on this day is great because I don't have to be let down and no one has to feel like they aren't doing enough for me (sorry this sounds more depressing than it should, it is genuinely a good thing).

As  grow older, I am beginning to realize that this day does not have to be about romantic love. The English word "love" can vary in meaning widely. I "love" french fries, I "love" autumn, I "love" my dad, I "love" my dog. So this year, I am going to celebrate all of the love in my life. I want to spend the day talking to and being with all of the people I love. I did one of those Facebook quizzes that told you who your Valentine was this year and, surprise surprise, it said my mom (I didn't want to post it because I think people (myself included) are starting to get genuinely creeped out that those quiz results are always my parents). But in all honesty, Facebook got it right because Jan got me flowers and cookies and made me feel very special, as she is so good at doing.

If you're single on Valentine's Day, take the opportunity to celebrate all the love you have in your life. Tell your parents and siblings you love them and treat yourself to a few (hundred) Dove chocolates. Love does not have to be in the form of a significant other to be celebrated. Happy Valentine's Day everyone!

Why I Love Being a Transfer Student

When people realize that I am a transfer student, they always want to know what inspired my decision to switch schools. Most of the time they assume I hated it and prepare themselves for a continuous reel of horror stories to confirm their belief that they attend the best university in America. I always find this question a very difficult one to answer because I did not transfer out of misery at Mizzou. Some of the people I met in Columbia will be a part of my life forever and the lessons I learned there shaped me into who I am now. Though there were many factors that gave me reason to transfer, the most important one was that I genuinely did not feel like the person I needed to become was going to develop fully and properly at Mizzou. Though it has been anything but easy, I feel confident that I am in the right place to grow the way I am supposed to.

With that being said, my goodness, I miss my friends in CoMO. This weekend I decided I needed a little Tiger-lovin' after a long week and it was the best decision I have made in a while. I attempted to surprise all my little love bugs (for some this was unsuccessful) and spent the weekend catching up and eating all the foods I missed so much (can I get a booyah for t-ravs, Zaxby's, and Waffle House?!). This weekend was exactly what I needed for a little boost and a refresher on how great these people are. Here's why being a transfer student is the best:

1. When you walk in a room, people are genuinely really excited to see you because they haven't for some time.

2. You spend a lot of time reminiscing on the good 'ol days and all of your embarrassing stories.

3. I brought my friend Molly along for the visit which made me appear very knowledgeable and was able to show off what I still believe to be the most beautiful campus in America.

*Molly seeing the columns and Jessie Hall*

4. You don't eat a Thanksgiving meal everyday which is the reason why it is so stinking good when you do and that goes for my CoMO food. Plus, this weekend adventure was technically considered a vacation so I could technically eat whatever I want and not feel bad.

5. The same way sparingly eating your favorite foods makes them that much better, seeing your favorite people sparingly makes your visits that much greater.

6. Because the people in my life that go to Mizzou are the kind of friends that after time apart, our relationship doesn't skip a beat and it feels like nothing at all has changed.

Transferring was one of the hardest choices I've ever made and being back this weekend made me remember why. I'm so thankful for my double-school and double-friends and I wouldn't trade them for the world. Thanks to everyone who made this weekend exactly the getaway I needed, love you lots.

Tough Love Rant

Oh boy, my blood is boiling and my hands are typing real fast so LISTEN UP READERS I AM ABOUT TO LEARN YOU SOMETHING REAL IMPORTANT. This will probably sound like I am shoving my opinion down your throat but, my goodness, I have got to say something.

I recently stumbled upon an article on Facebook with some kind of title regarding a friend-zoned boy falling in love with his girl best friend. I won't be facetious, I gave it a click because I am a sucker for an inspirational love story. Boy, was I in for a world of rage.

The story opens with a guy who is great friends with this girl who happens to be "seeing", "hooking up", whatever you want to call it, with his pledge brother. He continues to explain that she will spend the night with the one guy (his pledge brother) and come and lay in his bed with him (the friend) the next morning to "cuddle" or whatever the hell she told him it was (I am already quite angry at this point but let me continue with his story). This girl's formal comes around and, of course, she asks his pledge brother and volunteers this poor guy as one of her "shy friend"'s date. Long story short, this guy ends up paying for his, his date's, his girl friend's, and his pledge brother/friend's date's drinks and at the end of the night, closes a tab of over $500 (also, who is spending that much money on drinks at a bar?). So blah blah they go back and the girl friend goes to say goodnight to this guy (her friend who is now broke), realizes he paid for all of this stuff, and mouths "I love you" as this guy's pledge brother walks her over to his room to spend the night.

Where do I begin with my analysis and opinion? Let's start with this girl. Sure, everyone is a little unsure of themselves and dating in college is very hard for that reason. Not to mention that pretty much everyone feels as though these four years are for the hook-up scene only which just adds to the ambiguity of future life plans. But my god, at least consider other people as human beings who occasionally have real feelings. If you like someone, tell them. If you're "cuddling" with someone in their bed every morning and mouthing "I love you", please own up to and acknowledge the message you are sending. This poor guy thinks that eventually it will all work out and your love will conquer the hook-up world that is college. Do not play someone and give them this hope if you are going to brush it off and hook up with someone else. The fact that that concept is not apparent to people is astonishing to me, honestly. If it really is love and commitment you want, then starting acting like the type of person that you would want to be in a relationship with and start practicing honesty and loyalty.

Next, this poor sucker of a guy. You've got to have sympathy for him because you can tell in the way that he writes that he truly believes this girl loves him and it is all going to work out for the two of them. I learned the ultimate rule when it comes to relationships the hard way and it's hard to tell others this because it is not easy to hear and it is some real tough love: if someone wants to be with you, they will do what it takes to make you happy. Period. If someone is not really invested in a relationship with you, they will make excuses even at times when they don't even realize they are doing it. If you are worth it to someone, and really mean something to them, they will do whatever they can to make you happy and to make things work. I am so sorry to say this, poor guy, but if this girl is continuously leaving you to go hook up with one of your friends, not only does she not love you, she does not even like you in a romantic way at all. 

I could go on and rant about this for ages but I will cut myself off here. Maybe people my age just aren't mentally and emotionally mature enough to care about someone in the way it takes to properly maintain a relationship but I need people to start at least realizing these kinds of things so they can stop getting continuously hurt by someone that is not willing to invest. Maybe I'm not the best person to give relationship advice considering my current relationship status but I am confident enough to know what I want and it is simple to see what an average human deserves out of a relationship. I just went off and I am sorry but I just really had to say something about this because I was simply appalled. Treat people kindly and tell people how you feel. If it's not mutual, don't lead them on. Don't get into something if you can't really invest in the way the other person is, and if your partner is not willing to take steps to make your relationship great, it's time to get out. Gosh dang let's all just love each other. Peace out homeys, sorry again for talking your ear off.

Haven't Posted Since Last Year Lawlz

I have this terrible, horrible quality that I am slightly notorious for crying every single New Year's Eve. Some people may say it's because I have too high of expectations for such a holiday (they are correct) but I like to think the universe is simply very much against me on that night. I tend to cry about boys (wow, shocker) or how much the heels I insist on wearing are tearing up my feet while walking two miles in the cold. However, I did not cry this year on December 31st and I intend on not crying ever again on this day. Not because I had an amazing night (you can ask my broken phone, lost wallet, lipstick, chapstick, and scraped up and bruised chin if the night went well) but because I finally tried to look at the night for what it's worth: insignificant. I actually think the whole idea of celebrating is slightly bogus but I suppose it is a very good opportunity to create goals. The whole midnight kiss thing is greatly overrated and it really just seems like an excuse to get dressed up and drunk but I will play along and use this as an opportunity to improve. Though I use the joke often, I really do kind of want "new year, new me" to become a reality. So here are my goals for 2016:

1. Less Netflix, more writing and reading. Gosh dang I love my movies but they really haven't been doing all that much for my quality of life. Sometimes it's nice to have something mindless to do but I don't want to actually become mindless all of the time. As a journalism major, reading and writing are things that are actually going to improve my career and my curiosity so booyah let's do it.

2. Get straight A's. I've always been someone that doing decent in school came quite natural with little effort. I want to challenge myself to see just how well I can do if I actually try as hard as I can in every class and devote much more time to studying. Not that I didn't try before, but I really want to push myself this upcoming year.

3. Find the missing hobby I am really good at and really enjoy. You know how in the movie P.S. I Love You she is just in such a rut and can't find her way out until she discovers how much she loves designing and creating shoes? That's what I need. I have a feeling there is something out there that I am really good at that kind of takes over my life, pulls me out of this rut and into something really great. I got a camera for Christmas and I'm thinking that could be a good start but if you have any ideas of things I might not be terrible at, feel free to let me know;)

4. Keep in better touch with my friends from home. Being home from break, I have really re-appreciated how great these people are. I have the type of friends back home that I can go months without seeing but within the first ten minutes of the reunion we are completely back in the swing of things. It's also become very apparent that almost all of us seem to be in the same rut of sadness and I would just love to help them but it is not easy when you are in the exact same position. I really think that if we keep talking and being available to each other, we can help each other figure out how to thrive again.

5. Go out less. For obvious academic, health, and dignity reasons (would love to never lose my wallet ever again, please).

6. Meet tons of new people. I've said it many times before, but the University of Iowa is full of such diverse people and there really are many ways to meet them. I hope to get to know more people in my classes, clubs, and sorority.

7. Enjoy my own company. I really do not think that I am ready to meet someone new at this point in my life. I think I have tons of growing and learning to do and I really want to do all of this before I try and be in a relationship. Lots of this growing is going to have to come with being okay on my own and realizing that being single is an opportunity to become a better version of myself (new year, new me ayyyyyy).

I have a feeling that this year is going to be a growing and learning year and that is alright with me. A few years ago my New Year's resolution was, "to not give a damn," so I suppose you could say that this year's resolution is "to give a damn." Happy New Year everyone! Please continue to make jokes about things you haven't done "since last year" because I think they are hilarious.

Here's a bunch of friends and me on NYE.