I recently stumbled upon an article on Facebook with some kind of title regarding a friend-zoned boy falling in love with his girl best friend. I won't be facetious, I gave it a click because I am a sucker for an inspirational love story. Boy, was I in for a world of rage.
The story opens with a guy who is great friends with this girl who happens to be "seeing", "hooking up", whatever you want to call it, with his pledge brother. He continues to explain that she will spend the night with the one guy (his pledge brother) and come and lay in his bed with him (the friend) the next morning to "cuddle" or whatever the hell she told him it was (I am already quite angry at this point but let me continue with his story). This girl's formal comes around and, of course, she asks his pledge brother and volunteers this poor guy as one of her "shy friend"'s date. Long story short, this guy ends up paying for his, his date's, his girl friend's, and his pledge brother/friend's date's drinks and at the end of the night, closes a tab of over $500 (also, who is spending that much money on drinks at a bar?). So blah blah they go back and the girl friend goes to say goodnight to this guy (her friend who is now broke), realizes he paid for all of this stuff, and mouths "I love you" as this guy's pledge brother walks her over to his room to spend the night.
Where do I begin with my analysis and opinion? Let's start with this girl. Sure, everyone is a little unsure of themselves and dating in college is very hard for that reason. Not to mention that pretty much everyone feels as though these four years are for the hook-up scene only which just adds to the ambiguity of future life plans. But my god, at least consider other people as human beings who occasionally have real feelings. If you like someone, tell them. If you're "cuddling" with someone in their bed every morning and mouthing "I love you", please own up to and acknowledge the message you are sending. This poor guy thinks that eventually it will all work out and your love will conquer the hook-up world that is college. Do not play someone and give them this hope if you are going to brush it off and hook up with someone else. The fact that that concept is not apparent to people is astonishing to me, honestly. If it really is love and commitment you want, then starting acting like the type of person that you would want to be in a relationship with and start practicing honesty and loyalty.
Next, this poor sucker of a guy. You've got to have sympathy for him because you can tell in the way that he writes that he truly believes this girl loves him and it is all going to work out for the two of them. I learned the ultimate rule when it comes to relationships the hard way and it's hard to tell others this because it is not easy to hear and it is some real tough love: if someone wants to be with you, they will do what it takes to make you happy. Period. If someone is not really invested in a relationship with you, they will make excuses even at times when they don't even realize they are doing it. If you are worth it to someone, and really mean something to them, they will do whatever they can to make you happy and to make things work. I am so sorry to say this, poor guy, but if this girl is continuously leaving you to go hook up with one of your friends, not only does she not love you, she does not even like you in a romantic way at all.
I could go on and rant about this for ages but I will cut myself off here. Maybe people my age just aren't mentally and emotionally mature enough to care about someone in the way it takes to properly maintain a relationship but I need people to start at least realizing these kinds of things so they can stop getting continuously hurt by someone that is not willing to invest. Maybe I'm not the best person to give relationship advice considering my current relationship status but I am confident enough to know what I want and it is simple to see what an average human deserves out of a relationship. I just went off and I am sorry but I just really had to say something about this because I was simply appalled. Treat people kindly and tell people how you feel. If it's not mutual, don't lead them on. Don't get into something if you can't really invest in the way the other person is, and if your partner is not willing to take steps to make your relationship great, it's time to get out. Gosh dang let's all just love each other. Peace out homeys, sorry again for talking your ear off.
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