Tough Love Rant

Oh boy, my blood is boiling and my hands are typing real fast so LISTEN UP READERS I AM ABOUT TO LEARN YOU SOMETHING REAL IMPORTANT. This will probably sound like I am shoving my opinion down your throat but, my goodness, I have got to say something.

I recently stumbled upon an article on Facebook with some kind of title regarding a friend-zoned boy falling in love with his girl best friend. I won't be facetious, I gave it a click because I am a sucker for an inspirational love story. Boy, was I in for a world of rage.

The story opens with a guy who is great friends with this girl who happens to be "seeing", "hooking up", whatever you want to call it, with his pledge brother. He continues to explain that she will spend the night with the one guy (his pledge brother) and come and lay in his bed with him (the friend) the next morning to "cuddle" or whatever the hell she told him it was (I am already quite angry at this point but let me continue with his story). This girl's formal comes around and, of course, she asks his pledge brother and volunteers this poor guy as one of her "shy friend"'s date. Long story short, this guy ends up paying for his, his date's, his girl friend's, and his pledge brother/friend's date's drinks and at the end of the night, closes a tab of over $500 (also, who is spending that much money on drinks at a bar?). So blah blah they go back and the girl friend goes to say goodnight to this guy (her friend who is now broke), realizes he paid for all of this stuff, and mouths "I love you" as this guy's pledge brother walks her over to his room to spend the night.

Where do I begin with my analysis and opinion? Let's start with this girl. Sure, everyone is a little unsure of themselves and dating in college is very hard for that reason. Not to mention that pretty much everyone feels as though these four years are for the hook-up scene only which just adds to the ambiguity of future life plans. But my god, at least consider other people as human beings who occasionally have real feelings. If you like someone, tell them. If you're "cuddling" with someone in their bed every morning and mouthing "I love you", please own up to and acknowledge the message you are sending. This poor guy thinks that eventually it will all work out and your love will conquer the hook-up world that is college. Do not play someone and give them this hope if you are going to brush it off and hook up with someone else. The fact that that concept is not apparent to people is astonishing to me, honestly. If it really is love and commitment you want, then starting acting like the type of person that you would want to be in a relationship with and start practicing honesty and loyalty.

Next, this poor sucker of a guy. You've got to have sympathy for him because you can tell in the way that he writes that he truly believes this girl loves him and it is all going to work out for the two of them. I learned the ultimate rule when it comes to relationships the hard way and it's hard to tell others this because it is not easy to hear and it is some real tough love: if someone wants to be with you, they will do what it takes to make you happy. Period. If someone is not really invested in a relationship with you, they will make excuses even at times when they don't even realize they are doing it. If you are worth it to someone, and really mean something to them, they will do whatever they can to make you happy and to make things work. I am so sorry to say this, poor guy, but if this girl is continuously leaving you to go hook up with one of your friends, not only does she not love you, she does not even like you in a romantic way at all. 

I could go on and rant about this for ages but I will cut myself off here. Maybe people my age just aren't mentally and emotionally mature enough to care about someone in the way it takes to properly maintain a relationship but I need people to start at least realizing these kinds of things so they can stop getting continuously hurt by someone that is not willing to invest. Maybe I'm not the best person to give relationship advice considering my current relationship status but I am confident enough to know what I want and it is simple to see what an average human deserves out of a relationship. I just went off and I am sorry but I just really had to say something about this because I was simply appalled. Treat people kindly and tell people how you feel. If it's not mutual, don't lead them on. Don't get into something if you can't really invest in the way the other person is, and if your partner is not willing to take steps to make your relationship great, it's time to get out. Gosh dang let's all just love each other. Peace out homeys, sorry again for talking your ear off.

Haven't Posted Since Last Year Lawlz

I have this terrible, horrible quality that I am slightly notorious for crying every single New Year's Eve. Some people may say it's because I have too high of expectations for such a holiday (they are correct) but I like to think the universe is simply very much against me on that night. I tend to cry about boys (wow, shocker) or how much the heels I insist on wearing are tearing up my feet while walking two miles in the cold. However, I did not cry this year on December 31st and I intend on not crying ever again on this day. Not because I had an amazing night (you can ask my broken phone, lost wallet, lipstick, chapstick, and scraped up and bruised chin if the night went well) but because I finally tried to look at the night for what it's worth: insignificant. I actually think the whole idea of celebrating is slightly bogus but I suppose it is a very good opportunity to create goals. The whole midnight kiss thing is greatly overrated and it really just seems like an excuse to get dressed up and drunk but I will play along and use this as an opportunity to improve. Though I use the joke often, I really do kind of want "new year, new me" to become a reality. So here are my goals for 2016:

1. Less Netflix, more writing and reading. Gosh dang I love my movies but they really haven't been doing all that much for my quality of life. Sometimes it's nice to have something mindless to do but I don't want to actually become mindless all of the time. As a journalism major, reading and writing are things that are actually going to improve my career and my curiosity so booyah let's do it.

2. Get straight A's. I've always been someone that doing decent in school came quite natural with little effort. I want to challenge myself to see just how well I can do if I actually try as hard as I can in every class and devote much more time to studying. Not that I didn't try before, but I really want to push myself this upcoming year.

3. Find the missing hobby I am really good at and really enjoy. You know how in the movie P.S. I Love You she is just in such a rut and can't find her way out until she discovers how much she loves designing and creating shoes? That's what I need. I have a feeling there is something out there that I am really good at that kind of takes over my life, pulls me out of this rut and into something really great. I got a camera for Christmas and I'm thinking that could be a good start but if you have any ideas of things I might not be terrible at, feel free to let me know;)

4. Keep in better touch with my friends from home. Being home from break, I have really re-appreciated how great these people are. I have the type of friends back home that I can go months without seeing but within the first ten minutes of the reunion we are completely back in the swing of things. It's also become very apparent that almost all of us seem to be in the same rut of sadness and I would just love to help them but it is not easy when you are in the exact same position. I really think that if we keep talking and being available to each other, we can help each other figure out how to thrive again.

5. Go out less. For obvious academic, health, and dignity reasons (would love to never lose my wallet ever again, please).

6. Meet tons of new people. I've said it many times before, but the University of Iowa is full of such diverse people and there really are many ways to meet them. I hope to get to know more people in my classes, clubs, and sorority.

7. Enjoy my own company. I really do not think that I am ready to meet someone new at this point in my life. I think I have tons of growing and learning to do and I really want to do all of this before I try and be in a relationship. Lots of this growing is going to have to come with being okay on my own and realizing that being single is an opportunity to become a better version of myself (new year, new me ayyyyyy).

I have a feeling that this year is going to be a growing and learning year and that is alright with me. A few years ago my New Year's resolution was, "to not give a damn," so I suppose you could say that this year's resolution is "to give a damn." Happy New Year everyone! Please continue to make jokes about things you haven't done "since last year" because I think they are hilarious.

Here's a bunch of friends and me on NYE.