Life is Worth Living

"Life is worth living."

Today marks one week, seven days, 168 hours since the Earth stood still for a moment for me. It's been seven days of this churning pit in my stomach that makes me feel like I'm going to get sick any moment. Seven days of crying at inappropriate times in inappropriate places, but mostly seven days of not wanting to get out of bed in the morning. This week will easily go down as one of the hardest in my life.

I didn't really expect I would ever have a blog post inspired by a Justin Bieber song but here I sit on the floor, drinking coffee and listening to this song that has been on repeat for a few days now. In the midst of terrible heartbreak and feeling as though it is yours to handle on your own, I know I have to keep playing this song.

This week I am giving myself the challenge of thinking about all of the plans I have and then letting them go. There are many things I want to do but I also know that clearly sometimes the plan God has for you is greater than the one in your head. I'm going to travel, create, learn, and find purpose, but on God's schedule. I asked him to give me a sign and though it was a painful one, I got what I asked for. Obviously, God has a better idea for me than the one I had planned for myself and that is never easy to hear when you're sitting on the in-between.

But for now, I am trying to remember that none of the plans that are ahead of me will happen if I don't get out of bed in the morning. None of the big events coming up will be given the chance to come into my life unless I am out there in the world and trying. I cannot experience the gifts of the future until I let go of the past. Of course, all of these things are easier said than done and this knowledge doesn't take the pain away. However, I do truly believe it's always darkest before the dawn and that I have the power to really do something great in this world. I don't believe I've found my niche, my passion yet, but I never will unless I work on it. I know that great success comes with hard work and a lot of it is work in very difficult situations, but work that has to be done.

I hope that every person reading this that has a hard time getting out of bed to face the world remembers that every step you take into the pain is a step further from getting better. Every step back towards the past is just that, a step backwards and away from the future. Be aware of the pain in people around you because there are so many people out there hurting every day and most of them are hurting alone. I promise you will find the reason to make life worth living again.

Special shout-out to Jan for listening to me talk for hours and spending all of yesterday at my house helping me clean and decorate the house for Christmas. It was a way to start this week off on a completely different and hopeful note. There are people to help us find the reason to make life worth living again and that is the greatest gift.

So get out of bed, people. I know it hurts but it will be worth living.